As I have sat back and reflected on my life. I have a very fuzzy memory. I don't really know why. I think that I choose to remember things then I choose not too. Maybe this is for my own protection. My earliest memory- is my evil daycare provider so age 4. I can also remember my Kindergarten teachers' name. Home life wasn't normal by any means. It looked pretty on the outside. I am the middle daughter, I have an older sister and a younger sister. My parents divorced when I was in my 30's. I always felt different- I was an overweight kid in a catholic school. Even in high school I couldn't find my "Group" to fit in!!
My Mom- My mother was the oldest of a younger brother and sister. She grew up in a pretty strict environment. My grandfather liked to drink. My grandmother was a homemaker. My mom doesn't really talk about her home life-- I know she was beatin alot by my grandmother tho. She just recently told me that my grandmother didn't want to have kids and she felt like her mother despised her existence.
My Dad- My father was the oldest of his family he had a younger brother and sister. His mom was the oldest of their family. She took care of her 12 brothers and sisters and they all lived in a two bedroom shack with outdoor plumbing here in Kansas. My fathers grandparents died young. My father was extremely fond of his mother and when she died his world shattered--according to my mother. My father's side drank alot. I thought it was normal for a kid like me to be the beer-maid at age 5. I would pick up the empty beer cans and refresh them with new beers. This is my first drink, If I remember correctly drinking the left over backwash!
My Sisters-My older sister Theresa was 3 years older than me and a kiss-ass (still is). One of the fakest person you would ever know- You've met this person before: extreme make-up and an over the top personality. FAKE!! I'm mad at her as you might be able to tell. When we were growing up she calmed me when our parents were fighting, she sang me to sleep at night, she reassured me that everything was going to be ok!! She got married when I was 18. The week before her marriage I ditched town and vacationed in South Padre Island! I came back tan and tattooed with a pet tarantula. I was furious that she fell in love and wanted to leave me and get married!! She promised night after night, that she would always be here for me and now she is leaving. Yeah I know I'm almost 40 I should be over it.. I kinda am.. She is still married and has 2 awesome sons!! I love her dearly tho. Lot of memories of me terrorizing her! Lots...
My younger sister Patricia was all mine. She's 9 years younger than me. It was my turn now to step up and protect her from "hearing" all the bad stuff. My lil sister really didn't talk till she was around 5. We later found out that she is mildly retarded. You couldn't tell by her looks or her conversation. She was my world and still is actually. I want to keep her locked away and protect for the evils in this world that prey on people like her. Don't get it confused I did my share of hiding her favorite doll till she cried and ignoring her.. I was still a kid myself!! I am so grateful for her. The babies adore her!!! She watches the kids when I have things to do!
I must go!!! Tomorrow I don't know what I'll talk about... Maybe where my life went all downhill.. no lets start off positive and I'll talk on how it all went uphill!!! Thanks for letting me express!!
No comments:
Post a Comment